finding my voice: a summer in review

And the time I set for my voice project is over.  And I didn't really meet any of my goals, but things have changed in ways i never expected.

In all actuality my life is completely different than when this whole thing started.  And like normal the project i made up to give my self a life took a back seat to the life that started speeding up around me.  And while I wasn't working on the specific projects I had outlined for my self, I did approach the challenges that popped up for me with the same type of mindfulness I had committed my self to in the first place.

So I'd call this summer a success.  I got a lot of practice at listening, to those around me and to myself.  And I'd say all that listening helped me to strengthen my voice because I'm entering the fall with many new opportunities.  Last year at this time i couldn't have imagined doing the things I'm working on today.  And at the beginning of this summer I would have said no to the amazing invitations I have received because even just three months ago I didn't believe that was who I was, and that might be the best indicator of the return of my prodigal voice.  I am seeing my self for who i am and I'm spreading the word about what I know.

did i mention the book was called follow that boy?

when I was maybe ten or eleven I started reading this book that my cousin had taken out of the library.  It was a totally inthralling piece of sweet valley high crap and I loved it, but before i could finish my cousin took it back to the library.  And I have gone thru life not knowing if the girl in the book ever hooked up with the cute guy she kept running into on her trip to hawaii.  

For years I've kept an eye out for that book, I still take detours thru the teen section of the library from time to time hoping to see it on the shelf.  I understand that I can look it up read it whenever I like, but that would destroy the relationship I have had with this book.  As much as I hated not knowing the ending, that not knowing also sparked a sense of possibility in me that is quite exciting.

Anything can can happen... even finding that book laying on a table at my next visit to the library!

best idea ever

My desk sits behind the couch. I really like the set up, but one of the draw backs is that there isn't a place for an insperation board. That is until now...

I taped the images inspiring my current project inside a manilla folder.  I prop the folder up when I am working and can easily tuck it away when I'm finished for the day.  And when the project is complete I can store the copies of the finished project in the folder and file it away.

I think i might have to send this one into Heloise!

instant karma

This morning I was complaining about men to a friend over breakfast.

In the middle of my tirade I opened a carton of vanilla yogurt.

The foil lid came off clean and faster than i expected, smacking me in the face with sticky white cream.

clean slate

In my early 20s I ran around the way most people in their early twenties do, not worrying about the consequences of my actions as long as what ever happened was fun for me in that moment.  For a moment i slowed down enough to see how crazy my fast life was.  One night, right before falling asleep, I thought to my self 'I'm going to hell'.  The next morning I awoke to the news that it was a Christian Jubilee year and the pope was absolving everyone's sins.

And thus began my first second chance.

Today I dressed in a skirt for work.  I went out to my car and sat down in the drivers seat.  It was at this time I discovered that sometime during the night some one had walked up my driveway and, thru the 2 inch crack i had left i my window, deposited an egg.  Which I sat in. While wearing a skirt.  And now I think I have bird flu (or, at the very least, bird clamidia).

And so today I have decided to erase any sort of guilt I may have been carrying around for passing judgement on or talking shit about others.

Thank you late night vandal for for allowing me to make one big lump sum deposit into the Karma bank bringing my Karmic debt back into the black.

i hate waiting for my turn while playing balderdash