It’s scary ’cuz it’s true

The based on true events horror movie Wolf Creek received praise form director Quinton Terintino as one of the “…great horror film heavies in the past 25 years.” And it is horrifying, mostly because it shows us the truth about human nature. It isn’t afraid to depict how people really treat each other. We see that no matter how close a woman is with her female friend, when a man enters the picture she will leave her friend… alone… in the Australian outback… with a serial killer on the loose.

It’s scary ’cuz it’s true

The based on true events horror movie Wolf Creek received praise form director Quinton Terintino as one of the “…great horror film heavies in the past 25 years.” And it is horrifying, mostly because it shows us the truth about human nature. It isn’t afraid to depict how people really treat each other. We see that no matter how close a woman is with her female friend, when a man enters the picture she will leave her friend… alone… in the Australian outback… with a serial killer on the loose.

where do you go, when your favorite shows not on TV? the answer is books

If you have never read a book I highly recommend it. A good place to start is the 7^th Heaven book series. Reading is fun because you get to use your imagination. You can let your imagination carry you away while you imagine what outfits Mary is wearing, what Lucy’s hairstyle looks like or how big of a mess the twins make in the kitchen. And if you get stuck coming up with ideas for all of these things you can just watch an episode of the show for some help. And don’t worry, you will get the hang of it soon enough. One time I got so into one of the books I actually thought I was sitting on the couch watching the show instead of sitting on the couch reading a book. It was that good! I love the 7^th Heaven books because when you hold one it’s like you are holding an episode of 7^th Heaven in your hands… one that’s not on DVD.

where do you go, when your favorite shows not on TV? the answer is books

If you have never read a book I highly recommend it. A good place to start is the 7^th Heaven book series. Reading is fun because you get to use your imagination. You can let your imagination carry you away while you imagine what outfits Mary is wearing, what Lucy’s hairstyle looks like or how big of a mess the twins make in the kitchen. And if you get stuck coming up with ideas for all of these things you can just watch an episode of the show for some help. And don’t worry, you will get the hang of it soon enough. One time I got so into one of the books I actually thought I was sitting on the couch watching the show instead of sitting on the couch reading a book. It was that good! I love the 7^th Heaven books because when you hold one it’s like you are holding an episode of 7^th Heaven in your hands… one that’s not on DVD.

in which blaux exhibits the magnitude of her psychic abilities

Today is Wednesday. Trash day. Except when collection is pushed back due to a holiday. Monday was Columbus Day. A holiday. No one picked up my mail and I therefore assumed that no one was picking up trash. I was wrong. Now I have to spend another week with an overflowing trashcan. Now here are some pictures of apples.

standing 8 count

The energies in your life are reaching a culmination now. This is the time to try to bring your affairs to a climax, but do not expect to escape opposition from other people, for others have ambitions that may be in conflict with yours. Even with those aspects of your life that have been working out well and are now reaching a climax, you are not yet past the critical point. To achieve is one thing, but to incorporate these achievements into your life and make them part of your personal growth is something else. You have built structures and organized your life in various ways, and now you will experience the consequences of these structures as they begin to react and influence your life. Yet you still have the creative power to determine how your own creations will recreate you.

This is my horoscope for October 3^rd thru the 5^th and the stars sure know what they’re talking about.

I’ve been elated with the idea that I need to put my needs and myself first. It came down to the fact that I finally understood the art of compromise; when in a situation I subjectively tell the others involved my feelings about it, then listen as they express their own and then we can all see what the others see and from there decide if a new course needs to be taken that would better suit everyone’s needs. Simple right? I got the chance to put this idea into practice and it didn’t go quite like I’d pictured it.

Remember in the 80s how women would talk about how men can’t communicate? Picture that male stereotype, multiply by ten and you get me. I don’t know how to share my feelings. I’m afraid of being rejected or belittled because of them so for years I would burry them and lead a completely numb existence. So it was a very forging experience when I allowed myself to experience feelings of disappointment. Even more alien was my attempt to verbalize this feeling.

Not knowing where to begin, I talked my way around my feelings and inadvertently ended up making personal attacks. This incited a defensive rage in the person I wanted to find compromise with. The heat died down and things were soon at a ‘fine you’re right’ ‘no fine you’re right’ simmer until both of our lids stopped rattling and we each had our own individual stew pent up behind pursed lips and folded limbs. It’s keeping this sort of thing from happening that I use as an excuse not to open up.

While I’m not good at sharing my own feelings, I’m an expert at ripping into the soft spot of others. This is a trait that I recognized nearly ten years ago as an infantile coping mechanism and consciously don’t practice (at least not to my target’s face). While I discontinued my pot-shoting ways, I never replaced them with healthy behavior and do my best impression of a deaf mute when I’m in a low self-esteem situation. When I try to communicate my feelings I always ended up frustrated and with a better understanding of guests on the Jerry Springer show, wanting to resort to violence because I don’t have the skills to effectively get across what I want to say. Every attempt I’d made at opening up in this way sent me deeper into a deeper hole with an even more solemn vow of self-secrecy. Though I feel dejected and worn out after my most recent attempt, there is also something inside urging me to stay above ground.

Up until now my understanding of self-nutriment has been purely cerebral. Not until recently have I felt in my heart what it means to be the most important person in my life. I don’t want to get my point across to others so they can see that I am right, I want to do so because I know I’m worthy of having an opinion. I want to tell people about my truth because I’m proud of who I am. To get excited about these achievement is one thing, but to incorporate these achievements into your life and make them part of your personal growth is something else. I might have thought this incorporation would be easy, but just as coming to the realizations was a challenge, so too will be putting them into practice. I’m ready and willing to do the work. Coach might have to cut my eye, but I’m determined to see my way thru this. And in preparing to face the ugly, I remember not to neglect the beautiful.

My goal isn’t simply to improve my standing in sub par situations. For me to treat myself the best way possible I need to be clear on my true feelings about things. In order to do this I need to communicate how I feel in every situation, especially the good. This scares me more then bringing up the bad. My fear of sharing feelings applies to those both good and bad, but I know I have to face my fear if I want to enter a new faze of life. Maybe sharing the good is the exact practice I need to get me thru the bouts with the bad I will have to face. And giving the good in my life more attention can’t be a bad thing.

i go out walkin'

I went out for a walk today. It smelled like fall, like someone was burning leaves. There wasn’t any pinch of cold in the air. It was just a half step down from being warm and by the time I got home I was pretty hot. I don’t know anything about gardening so I don’t know if there is a reason for this, but everyone’s front yard looked wonderful like they had just received fresh haircuts after summer’s overgrowth.

This tree is always the best of the season. I wonder if its proximity to a jewelry store has anything to do with its foliage being so flamboyant.

I would make this my secret spot.