if only i'd learned from pinocchio

Today I was asked what my short and long term goals are. In the moment I drew a blank. For me the word goal has long been associated with doing something I don't want to do. Short term goals are the little chunks you break big homework projects into and long term goals all revolve around saving money for future home improvements. I said something about my goal being to have the same type of life i have right now.
How depressing of an idea is that?
It isn't that my life is depressing as is, but as I was thinking about this conversation I realized that I'd presented my life as having been painted into a corner. A very comfortable and moderately entertaining corner, but one from which escape was futile. And that is simply not true.
In the next three months I will finish writing a (first and very bad) novel.
In the next year I plan to implement content and layout changes in this website.
At first I asked myself why I would bring these things up, they don't mean anything. And then I had to put my internal critic in time out. These things mean a lot to me. They are my dreams I'm bringing to life. I specifically thought of the word dream and it scared me a little. For me the word dream has long been associated with something I know isn't going to happen. It then became clear that my internal dictionary is messed up in more ways than one. (This is a joke I'm making about my self because I can't spell.)
My ideas are my dreams. Some are silly fantasies that won't come true and some are worth the investment of my time. A dream I've decided to realize is a goal. Self doubt is the only thing in my life worth putting in a corner.