matter over mind

I recently decided to become more mindful of what i eat.  This wasn't meant to be a practice in eating healthy, but rather eating what i enjoy and really enjoying what i eat.  I generally get a taste for certain foods so i wasn't concerned about eating a balanced diet because i tend to crave things like spinach and salmon and if a cheese burger calls o me every once in a while so be it.

At first things were going great, when i was hungry i sought out the foods i was hungry for and when i ate i focused on savoring every mouthful.  Three weeks later i was completely satisfied with far less food and five pounds lighter.  I seemed to have figured it all out and then something completely unexpected happened... I lost my interest in food.

I didn't stop getting hungry, there just weren't any foods i wanted to eat.  For about a week i was able to avoid this problem by getting most of my calories form beer, but sooner or later i knew i had to get back on solid foods.

So i went to the store with no inspiration and simply looked at foods that i was used to getting excited about.  I came home with a couple of dense artichokes, a baby egg plant, wild mushrooms and chicken thighs.  I began to cook and the food looked good, but i wasn't ecstatic about the prospect of eating it like i normally am.  When i did sit down to eat i continued in my practice of enjoying every mouthful and when i was full i was perfectly happy with what i had eaten.

It was very easy to change my eating habits because of how into food i can be.  It was annoying and a little unsettling, but i still had to eat (weather i particularly liked what i was eating or not).  From my point of view, given the circumstances i was under, i could either choose to go hungry or stick to my practice.  And practice i did.  

I don't know if I will ever have the same passion for food i did just a month ago, and that fact isn't as scary as it might have been in the past.  This little experiment in eating has brought me to a deeper understanding of how to live; that all I need to do, all I can do, is show up and be present and honer the place i am at this moment.