stop me if you’ve heard this one before

It’s rare for me to come across people that I see my self in. By ‘seeing my self’ I mean that I relate to the personal motivations behind the way someone does something; tells a joke, shows devotion to their family, chooses an outfit. My normal reaction to this type of person is to treat them as though they are guidebooks to my path of enlightenment. I think ‘this is how I should tell stories to get my point across with humor’ or ‘the way to create the cozy home life I want is to learn how to make these sorts of quilts.’ Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of my self in the work of others. I thought my self to be strangely lucky to happen upon more personally relatable people in five days than I’d met over the past five years and almost immediately my thoughts turned toward emulation. I’ve been pretty good at recognizing why I am doing different things and divorcing my self from actions that are for the soul benefit of others. Looking for cues from outside sources seemed in keeping with my determination to live life on my own terms. Soon I got it. Didn’t I remember; I’d already determined that the map of ones life was something to be drawn, not followed. Once this set in I almost allowed my self to fall into a hole of self-pity. Knowing other people who share my sensibility are out there left little space for me. In the past this thinking would have carried enough self doubt to fill one hundred black balloons, the fact that I only made a quick cameo at the pity party shows me I have come a long way baby. I am devoting my self to things that I feel good about, building my confidence from within, and the foundation this has set is too strong to be swept away by a little negativity. It’s clear that what I have invested in my self is turning me into more than someone who conforms to the norm in their own unique way, into someone truly special. I took another look at those I felt might have all the answers and could see them as friends who might have advice to offer, or even want to explore a totally new question together. Since we both think along the same lines its safe to say that we will each come to our own conclusion.