obsession * the sticky tv romance

Tonight is season premier night for two of the best unrequited love driven comedies on television; Ugly Betty and The Office. I officially like watching both of these shows because they are loaded with uniquely crafted and expertly portrayed characters. I am officially addicted to these shows because of the romantic tension between the characters. I had a dream a couple of weeks ago where The Office premier was ten minutes long, consisted of Jim and Pam kissing after declaring their love for one another and was the end of the series.

I almost wish something like that would happen because it would be immensely satisfying for these characters that are so easily relateable to get together and whisk themselves away leaving us with our imaginations of their happily ever after. I understand that a show about Betty and Henry being easily in love would be excruciatingly boring, but maybe there can be a show where every three weeks we meet two people, watch them overcome obstacles to ultimately end up together and we get to move on to the next set of soon to be lovers. It can be called The Chic Flick Show and there will be no brunette Carrie Bradshaws allowed.

that 70s show

I was just watching Let's Make A Deal and noticed that one of the producer's assistants was named Richard Tugwell.

the reminder

the reminder,
originally uploaded by mcnewsletter.

This was carved into the table at the coffee shop I was at today. I don’t know if it’s in reference to the Holocaust or 9-11 or that one must specify skim milk if one wants their latte to be fat free.

surviving perfection

My cousin was almost selected to be a contestant on the new Survivor China. After making it to the final round of auditions the producers saw that, even through the most biased editing, it would be impossible to make her appear one dimensional. My cousin's lives in Hawaii and was voted back to her own island. It would have been kind of cool for her to be on the show, but what's even cooler is the fact that I won't have to watch another season of Survivor.

A couple of years ago I saw a Survivor contestant's profile on one of the morning shows. The woman's story made me cry and that made me feel very strongly about watching her on the show. While she got voted off the first episode, I stuck with it to the end. I'm like that with most all reality shows. Weather they are about backstabbing roommates or room make overs, once I start watching I won't stop till its over.

The single mindedness that reality TV brings out in me is, I believe, an example of my perfectionism. I'm not the kind of perfectionist who has to dust the knickknacks every day, I'm the kind who hasn't dusted the knickknacks ever because I don't want to do anything if a can't do everything perfectly. You know, the kind who gets on the Oprah show because of the massive amounts of crap they have horded over the years.

I am most definitely slow to start projects, especially those of the household variety. On one hand this means my bathroom is never unexpected guest ready, on the other I've yet to paint a room and be disappointed in the color. I have painted two rooms. I don't feel a great compulsion to hold on to things (when i do hold on to useless junk it's because it takes me a while to get around to getting rid of it) but that isn't to say that I'm not a hoarder. What I find it difficult to take action on and move on from are my ideas.

I write a lot and I used to hold on to the pounds of paper I'd generated. My thoughts were something I needed to keep close and reference often. When I threw all of that old material away a year ago I felt a whole lot lighter and was surprisingly inspired to work on projects I'd long before believed to be lost causes. Since then I've made it a habit to throw out most everything I hand write within a week of when it was written. I've slowly started to see what were once simply ideas transform into tangible end products. I've come a long way over the past year and I am reaching out to others as I keep my mental mess clean.

There have to be more idea mongers like me out there. While watching a reality show about hoarders I learned that they are expert at hiding their condition. If people can keep tons of stuff a secret keeping tons of ideas a secret has got to be a snap. At this point I don't know why that's important. The sense that there are others out there who share this neurosis is comforting to me and my be to others. Right now what's most important to me is that I allowed this idea to escape in all it's imperfection.

this would be sooo single white female if i weren’t married

When Britney Spears shaved her head a couple of months ago I told any one who would listen that she was trying to be like me as I shaved my own head many years ago while going thru a stressful time in my life. I now have more proof that she is sweatin my style.

This is Britney’s signature:

This is what my signature would look like if my name were Balux McNewsletter:

Oh, and another thing, I hear she’s got a blog too!

back on my game

I like to improvise when I cook. Not all improve is good, but with the aid of a few stiff drinks can usually be tolerated. I've been bombing so often recently that I'm keeping rubbing alcohol on hand just to disinfect my mouth. The other night my cooking was so bad we had to order take out.

While it is slightly embarrassing to admit that, as of late, my culinary skills have produces nothing to rival the cuisine of even Pizza Hut, I have persevered. I haven't had to throw away food simply because it tasted bad in years, and in a way it's kind of cool that I've had to do just that three times in the past three days. It's nice to make a new mistake, one you are excited to learn from.

I'll revisit some of the dishes I tested for the first time this week, and I'll remember never to try some of the others again, but today I decided to play it safe with an old standby; chicken noodle soup. For the past five years I've roasted chicken for this soup on a baking sheet. Today I had the bright idea to roast the chicken in a saute pan from which the drippings could be easily deglazed and added to the broth. I'm sure that thinking about how my failed experiments went wrong and how I might get them right in the future led to this revelation.

I'd like to remember this outcome when ever I'm thinking about not doing something for fear of being less than perfect.

I'd like to look at failure not as an end point, but a tool that can be used to find the right direction.

I'd like to ask that no one teach my grandmother how to use her computer, because if she found out how much food I've been throwing away she would kill me.

obsession * music from a commercial

I first heard the band Hem while watching television in real time, unable to skip commercials, and saw this Liberty Mutual ad featuring the song Half Acre.

After my first exposure I would stop scanning between program breaks each time I noticed the commercial (and was alone), listen to the song and try not to cry. When the ads stopped airing I had to go out on a limb and get the album.

When I love one song by an artist listening to their entire album is always risky. If the rest of their songs are horrible of course I am disappointed, and sometimes the other songs are so horrible that I end up liking the original song a lot less. Fortunately Hem’s album Rabbit Songs was so good that I got their album Evening land as well. The songs I like the best sound like once loved lullabies, forgotten until they are heard and all at once become familiar.

At the moment I’m obsessed with listening to them while drinking coffee in the morning. Starting the day with lullabies feel decadent and a little sneaky, like eating cake first thing after waking up.