when I was maybe ten or eleven I started reading this book that my cousin had taken out of the library. It was a totally inthralling piece of sweet valley high crap and I loved it, but before i could finish my cousin took it back to the library. And I have gone thru life not knowing if the girl in the book ever hooked up with the cute guy she kept running into on her trip to hawaii.
For years I've kept an eye out for that book, I still take detours thru the teen section of the library from time to time hoping to see it on the shelf. I understand that I can look it up read it whenever I like, but that would destroy the relationship I have had with this book. As much as I hated not knowing the ending, that not knowing also sparked a sense of possibility in me that is quite exciting.
Anything can can happen... even finding that book laying on a table at my next visit to the library!
My desk sits behind the couch. I really like the set up, but one of the draw backs is that there isn't a place for an insperation board. That is until now...
I taped the images inspiring my current project inside a manilla folder. I prop the folder up when I am working and can easily tuck it away when I'm finished for the day. And when the project is complete I can store the copies of the finished project in the folder and file it away.
I think i might have to send this one into Heloise!
In my early 20s I ran around the way most people in their early twenties do, not worrying about the consequences of my actions as long as what ever happened was fun for me in that moment. For a moment i slowed down enough to see how crazy my fast life was. One night, right before falling asleep, I thought to my self 'I'm going to hell'. The next morning I awoke to the news that it was a Christian Jubilee year and the pope was absolving everyone's sins.
And thus began my first second chance.
Today I dressed in a skirt for work. I went out to my car and sat down in the drivers seat. It was at this time I discovered that sometime during the night some one had walked up my driveway and, thru the 2 inch crack i had left i my window, deposited an egg. Which I sat in. While wearing a skirt. And now I think I have bird flu (or, at the very least, bird clamidia).
And so today I have decided to erase any sort of guilt I may have been carrying around for passing judgement on or talking shit about others.
Thank you late night vandal for for allowing me to make one big lump sum deposit into the Karma bank bringing my Karmic debt back into the black.
If you ever meet me you will notice that i am always dancing around. I say this because others are constantly pointing out the fact that I am dancing. This is OK with me. I hope my little jigs inspire others to dance throughout the day... it makes things a lot more fun. Maybe all the hopping I do makes it so easy for me to jump on band wagons.
A week ago I began this 21 day, all the rage, nothing but vegetablescleanse. FYI, things that aren't vegetables include: wheat, caffeine, alcohol and sugar. I did this with the intention of clearing out my body and mind in my attempt to live each moment in the present.
The first couple of days were a little harry. I really needed protein and finally found an innocuous all veggie supplement that is easily consumed when added to fruit smoothies. I struggled with a dull headache brought on by caffeine withdrawal and was also pretty lethargic. At one point i thought about having a cigarette to help with these symptoms.
While that all sucked, it was what i was expecting. What really surprised me was how severely my brain activity was stunted. I seemingly forgot how to do every day tasks (like replying to an e mail) and had a hard time with basic mechanics (like screwing a lid on to a jar straight).
Fortunately all of these things passed and I got the feeling myself again by the fourth day. Once my head was clear i began reflecting on my actions. It was evident was that there was no joy in this practice... and that corn may be a bigger problem for my system than wheat.
After this decided that simply seeing this cleanse thru the 21 days would be repeating my personal habit of looking for rules to life. It also plays into my desire to be DONE! It is very likely that after three full weeks of complete deprivation I would fall hard off the waggon and hit the ground with enough opposite momentum to break both of my femurs and collarbone. I have used periods of discipline as an excuse to jump off the undisciplined deep end enough times to know that simply seeing something thru to the end isn't necessarily the best thing in the world for me to do.
Life is organic and so will this cleanse be for me. Today I enjoyed 16 ounces of coffee and a small serving of bread. I will only add these 2 things back to my diet for the next week, and may add cheese and animal products the third. I've always enjoyed meat and cheese in moderation and when i do add them back to my diet I'm going to pay attention to how they make me feel and decide if they are worth consuming. I' plan to all but cut out sugar from my diet permanently and cut waaaaaay back on the alcohol as well.
I think i always knew that hitching a ride on bandwagons will never take you to the end of the road, but i am grateful where this one dropped me off.
When i started my summer transformation adventure I fully expected to get sick once i started gaining momentum.
I believed this would happen because in the past derailment always seems to occur shortly after a period of illness, but for the most part I've been feeling OK (except for 12 hours of intense suffering I fully attribute to drinking beer thru a straw).
While I haven't been out of commission, the unexpected has found its way into my already tightly scheduled life and as a result I'm crazy busy.
I had this feeling like i should be upset and put out when i started picking up unplanned projects... but trying to complain about my predicament was totally unsatisfying, and the situation showed me how simple the big tasks I was dreading actually are. I'm also begingin to understand how to tell those I'm working for what they can expect from me and what I'm expecting from them, and I'm grateful for the practice.
And now its back to my preparations, and what ever else that's thrown my way.
